Chapter 9: Tips to Make it Better (Off to Charm School)
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” — Albert Einstein
There are many available strategies—or grand plans–to reach your relationship goals. It’s probably best for the two of you to collaborate and devise your own strategies based on your individual preferences and personality types. Below, I’ve supplied a few tactics—or short-term actions—to help drive your strategy to reach your goals.
- Be aware of the optics of presentation. Frame criticisms and suggestions in ways that make the other person feel better. For example, instead of blurting out that your mate is overweight, tell him or her you would love to see their great physique or figure again. Or tell them you are going on a diet to look your best.
- Kill them with kindness for 30 days. Keep a leash on your irritation. The very first time you get angry at your partner, the 30-day count starts over. The very first time you catch yourself making a snide remark, the count starts over. Do everything your partner wants. Don’t ask for anything. Then watch the magic happen.
- Focus on romance. Women don’t separate sex from romance. Men do (that wiring thing again). But for a woman if there is no romance, sex just becomes routine—and desire gradually fades away. And romance isn’t just buying stuff. It’s non-sexual affection: an unexpected kiss or hug or a pinch or an arm on the small of her back. The more attention and caring you show a woman, the more you will get laid. There is no substitute for flowers, cards, candy and an occasional teddy bear. If you are not sending flowers every 8 weeks, with cards more regularly, you have totally blown it.