Rug Rats and Other Species of Kiddo

Okay. I admit it. I’m selfish. I’ve already raised kids and I’m not interested in sharing my love interest with her kids. I don’t go for the widely acclaimed “it’s all about the children” mindset. Look at the disastrous sense of entitlement that kind of thinking has bred? So before you dismiss me as a jerk pig, consider that reprioritizing the kids thing might save your relationship. And save the kids too.

Once you grow beyond the 25 to 35 year-old age bracket, it’s pretty difficult to find someone who doesn’t have kids. And kids are a big, big deal. They complicate the dating phase and beyond. That’s why it’s a good idea to go extra slow when kids are in the mix. It’s next to impossible to develop a successful relationship when everything—from conversations to scheduling-is always about the kids.

Over the course of my interviews and through personal experience, I’ve discovered that women are more willing to accept kids than men are. No surprise there. Yet many women are wary of them too. And for good reason. Parents often aren’t as accountable for their kids in new relationships as they should be. They don’t intervene when their child is inconsiderate of the wishes and preferences of the new partner.

This is an excerpt from Chapter 2: How to Determine Who’s Not Wrong